Reality bites, the truth hurts and ignorance is bliss. It’s very easy to live in cloud cuckoo land and go through life as if everything is ok. There are always diversions to take your mind off of things and only the very brave (or insane) will confront you about your problems or deepest darkest concerns.
This week I did a classroom observation. It was more of an open drop-in debate session where students at this specific company can just show up and speak English, normally some kind of topical debate. Generally I don’t like such classes and consider them a bit of a waste of time, space and money as there is no real focus, but I have to say that this particular class struck a chord. The topic was East-West and cultural differences, which is something I think about all the time, and there was one particular point which sparked a momentous debate.
Popular belief would have it that in the West, in Europe, we take a problem and we stare it straight in the face and deal with it head on. In China, on the other hand, a problem is something that is walked around. Problems are not something that people talk about.
OK, this is vast stereotyping but in many ways I would, sadly, have to agree. The reluctance to admit to problems and deal with the hard stuff causes me a great deal of grief at work. There is frustration, there is back-stabbing, there is so much inefficiency. Naturally a problem solver, it can really wind me up when people don’t say what they are really thinking and don’t have the guts to bring up a problem. There are constantly elephants sitting in the corner of the office and it regularly drives me mad having to pussy-foot around problems and never knowing what people really, honest-to-God, deep-down think.
But just when you think you are starting to comprehend things in this very different society then… boom… something else pops up to make your head spin. The dichotomy in this case is that although my Chinese colleagues can often dig their heads in the sand, not talk about problems and issues and generally keep their feelings to themselves about burning issues, they can be brutally honest about everything else. And when I say brutal, I mean BRUTAL.
Quotes from colleagues in recent times include:
“Fiona. I like your hair, but I liked it better before”, “Fiona, you look so unhealthy and thin these days”, “Fiona, you’ve lost all the colour and happiness from your face.” I kid you not. They can let rip about how you look and prompt you to think about your wellbeing in a very upfront way, but talk about the nitty gritty of work and they run for the hills (or in the case of Shanghai, skyscrapers).
I have a problem. I am confused. I don’t know how I’ll deal with it, but am facing it head-on. My Chinese lesson of the day is:
困难 kùn nan - problem.
